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Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Camping in Brokenness

Brokeness. That word often stirs up mixed emotions for me - not unlike the word “boundaries” if you read my last blog post

Oftentimes when we hear the word “brokenness” it implies something is weak, subpar, and needs to be fixed. This can be true, but it also means a lot of other things. Instead of viewing it as a state to overcome, I’ve started to view it as a landing place, a spot to camp if you will. 

Side note: I’ve never been into camping, but the concept has always sounded romantic to me. To make a home in some place unknown and new. To journey with just the essentials, carrying with me only that which I need to survive. If I were to create a list of essentials for this journey of life, brokenness would be at the top of that list. 

This may sound strange, but I’m starting to believe that I’m not simply called to live through a season of brokenness, but to consider brokenness a lifestyle choice. Choosing brokenness keeps me pliable and teachable. It reminds me of my weaknesses, so that I don’t get too far ahead of myself and start thinking I’m something I’m not. And God knows I need reminded of that often. 

All this being said, there a couple things I think brokenness is not.
  1. It’s not an excuse for a pity party. Choosing brokenness does not mean feeling sorry for myself. It means I’m self-aware of both my weaknesses and strengths. 
  2. It’s not an opportunity for insecurity. Yes, it means a healthy dose of believing I need help in certain areas of my life, but it doesn’t mean I am no-good or not normal. Don’t give the enemy a foothold here; he will distort it. 
Choosing brokenness doesn’t mean I can’t be myself. I’ve struggled with this thought many times this past year. I used to think that being broken meant I couldn’t function in my strengths. And that is so far from the truth! In fact, I think I was made to be both broken and bold. To be aware of myself and my weaknesses, but also to know what I’m good at, and to go for it! 

If I were to sum up the lessons I’ve learned in 2014, it would be this: To let brokenness be an opportunity for growth. And if I could tell myself one thing this time last year it would be to “Get comfortable in weakness, because that is where the growth begins.” 

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